Naive, the light travels far and fast thinking it is inconceivable that anything will ever find a way to keep up; unwilling to concede that no matter how fast or far it travels – darkness is already there, waiting.R.M.
It was in the early moments of becoming an older brother, something inside me changed – practically overnight.
From what I’ve been told, there was a sense of altruism that set within me that from that moment forward guided my behavior [and thus I can assume my experiences].
One thing I can distinctly remember was my unyielding fear of the dark.
I knew had to overcome this fear. After all, I was a big brother now and there was no time to waste.
So one day, I went upstairs to my room and locked myself inside in the pitch blackness and vowed not to come out until I rid myself of this fear.
I remember sitting in the middle of the room, eyes wide open and without sight…
Darkness…..just….an unreachable fabric of black static.
I could hear my own heartbeat inside my head.
There was a tense silence in the air.
I could feel a deep and low pitched pressure at the base of my eardrums.
I was afraid.
I was afraid at any moment, something would reach out for me.
Something would pull me in.
Pull me away….
Something would not allow me to leave…
I would never see my family again.
I was afraid….
But I sat there still anyway…
I have always been fascinated by the concept of darkness.
Looking above into the vastness of the night sky, it did not escape me to consider that darkness may very well be the prominent [and perhaps natural] state of existence.
Light is seemingly scarce and fleeting at times but I am uncertain if this is the entire story. Over time I have come to notice a nuance in what we see as darkness.
Often in our lives, historically and in the literary sense, we perceive darkness as a force to be reckoned with.
An over arching presence that is ever demanding of our surrender; a cunning observer, lurking on the outskirts of our ambition and will.
But is that really true? As of recent I am not too sure…
I am not too sure because there is another interpretation of darkness that we often overlook; an interpretation that shows darkness to be simply the ‘the absence of light’ .
And the ‘absence of light’ is not inherently the ‘the suppression of light’.
When I was younger, I locked myself in a dark room to rid myself of the fear of darkness.
What I had yet to learn from that experience was, it was not the darkness I was afraid of – it was the idea that I would be confronted by something I could not see.
The unknown. The uncertain.
Undoubtedly, most of what we come to fear, especially so in our youth, are a testament to the power and grandeur of our imaginations.
Our imaginations are far greater and more creative than our reality.
Sometimes it seems we are hardwired to fear the uncertain and perhaps, in many respects, this has served us well through our collective history and pursuit of survival.
But be that as it may, we must continue to remind ourselves that the absence of light is not the suppression of light.
In the presence or absence of light, we are as we were and remain unchanged.
And as we remind ourselves of this powerful fundamental, we may come to discover something very important.
Whether we find ourselves in the light or we find ourselves in the dark – we are neither certainty that comes from the light nor uncertainty that dwells in the dark; we are the harbingers of the possible.
And what is possible – is up to us.